my grandson, the arch-rabbi!

from my little bowl, i noticed this week that the paternal grandfather of the next archbishop of canterbury, the rt rev justin welby, was the uk naturalised german jew bernard weiler who changed his surname to welby at the outbreak of world war one

the haste with which he has been appointed becomes clear when one compares it with the delay in choosing a new chief rabbi … he has been under active consideration for both positions, and the church of england wanted to get him first

however, it is not too late ° as archbishop, his busy day will be sunday ° he will be free to change from minhag anglica to minhag anglia on friday nights and saturdays

(weddings are not a problem ° archbishops do not officiate at weddings, except for those of members of the royal family, which tend not to be at weekends anyway)

i see that it is only a matter of days before he is appointed arch-rabbi of britain and the commonwealth ° just as the head of the church of england (hm the queen) becomes head of the church of scotland whenever she enters scotland (and queen of canada whenever she enters canada), so the archbishop will become arch-rabbi whenever he enters a synagogue

i see this job-sharing as the start of further economies, both in personnel and buildings ° churches and synagogues will gradually be replaced by preach-easies which at the press of a button will convert from one faith to the other ° press once, and the cross will disappear ° press again, it will reappear, but the prayer for the royal family will be gone ° the ten commandments, of course, can stay

i do not see his patrilineal descent being a problem ° he will be appointed as an inclusive arch-rabbi, representing even those synagogues for whom matrilineal descent is not essential

his position as head of more than one religion will make him an emperor-pope, senior even to the roman catholic pope, or the eastern orthodox patriarch ° i see britain (and the commonwealth) becoming the centre of the religious world ° a new jerusalem without conflict or controversy

i see the flag of st john and the flag of st johns wood waving as one

i see the holy spirit and the ruach kodesh, easter and passover, pentecost and shavuot, christmas and succot, uniting together on the throne of lambeth palace

i see the lambevitcher rebbe preaching to all mankind, in all tongues, and for all time

i see a lot from my little bowl!

time to remember

…crumby yummy!…

oooh … crumbs … !

my favourite!

…360° pictures…

i’m on the window-sill …

oooh … 360º pictures … !

…perfick!…

i’m still on the sideboard … can life be any better than this?

smilies for all!

i don’t like the standard wordpress smilies

here’s some nice smilies for everyone to copy-and-paste …

          

just right-click for the (local) url, or copy-and-paste eg “<img  src=”http://imhappygoldfish.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/smile.gif”&gt;“

oooh, i nearly forgot …

…fascinated…

i’m still on the sideboard … isn’t life fascinating? 

why a duck?

from my little bowl, i have noticed with alarm that ducks appear to be taking over the world ° although they seem to float motionless in midstream, under the surface they are frantically paddling as fast as they can

israeli prime minister benjamin netanyahu has finally spoken out against this yellow menace ° iran has for years been developing its fast breeder program ° what need does it have for such a program unless it is trying to evolve a new duck more powerful than we can imagine?

soon, the days when we could defend ourselves against ducks will be gone ° the sitting ducks that we see are only a decoy ° soon iran will have evolved ducks that can live underground, protected from all predators ° the world ignores the signs ° the world understands global warming, it understands monetary inflation, but it does not understand, why a duck?

as churchill said: “why a duck, why not a chicken? we shall not flinch, we shall not duck, some chicken, some duck, but we shall be ready!”

the west too has entered the duck race ° wikibeaks has revealed that members of the british parliament have created floating duck-houses paid for secretly out of government funds

the signs have been visible for those with eyes to see ° as long ago as the thirties, the ducks were on the wall, but we all ignored them ° let us not forget the story of the boy who cried “duck!”

the nuclear duck is a threat not only to fish but to the whole world ° let us take action now to stop these hideous mutations! ° let us not wait until iran has all its ducks in a row! ° let us not duck the issue, the duck is the issue!

the choice is ours ° i see a future in which ducks shall rule the world ° but i also see a future in which the duck shall lie down with the orange, and a little child shall eat them!

i see a lot from my little bowl!

…waterblogged…

i’m in my little bowl on the sideboard

israeli oranges in iran

from my little bowl, i noticed this week that iran has been visited with a plague of oranges ° not falling from the sky and killing all the firstborn cattle, but lying unexploded in boxes waiting to terrorise the population ° only the vigilance of theiranian fruit police has exposed this insurgence, with its international connections

the oranges were displayed for sale around teheran, masquerading as good chinese oranges, but they were found to have originated from jaffa, and were imported via dubai in boxes with chinese lettering ° clearly an international conspiracy seeks to undermine the iranian republic with sweetness and easy peelability

the israeli government has, as is usual on security matters, refused to comment ° but it is known that jerusalem has been visited by a top american spy with the code-name agent orange ° and a rabbi in jaffa recently gave a sermon on the verse “out of sweetness came forth strength”

israel’s orange enrichment program is an open secret, and the whole city of tel-aviv “never sleeps” in its single-minded hundred-year quest for the “big orange”

already iranian dissidents are openly eating these oranges in public, in defiance of the strict fruit laws ° by the cunning zionist trick of removing the labels, they are making it impossible for the fruit police to tell who is a good peace-loving citizen and who is a dangerous dissident and counter-revolutionary

as a result, the government is trying to recall all oranges, officially for “safety inspections”, but in reality for stockpiling for use against iran’s arab neighbours ° but the people are hiding and even burying their oranges, and bringing them out for wild anti-government orange parties when the inspectors have gone

the police have arrested all the usual black marketeers, but they cannot find theorange marketeers who are running the orange underground ° anarchists in isfahan started a rumour that israel had grown an army of mutant oversized oranges which were parachuting into iran disguised as grapefruit, and many innocent grapefruit were crushed in the panic

the orange revolution has started! o people of iran, rise up for freedom of fruit! ° remember how william of orange freed ireland from the austrians by rescuing an orange from his son’s head! ° where oranges lead, let the people follow! ° the people’s flag is deepest orange!

i see a future in which oranges of every persuasion have a place in paradise ° i see a future in which the duck shall lie down with the orange, and a little child shall eat them ° i see that the future is sweet! the future is orange!

i see a lot from my little bowl!